You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
