Porn is love you can see.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize