I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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