I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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