yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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