he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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