thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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