I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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