is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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