Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
