Dual....:-)
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
