I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
