after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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