You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
