I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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