It's like God shit irony all over that family
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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