Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
