Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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