This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
