Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just pee around me
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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