I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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