do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
