JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
