What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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