I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
