dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
