Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
