I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
