Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
