you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
