i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
