I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
