That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
