Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
