I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
