So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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