So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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