would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
