i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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