Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
