hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
