6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize