i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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