tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
