He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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