The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
