the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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