i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
