I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
