Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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