I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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