I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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