dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
