im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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