1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
