I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She told me I should be a condom model.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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