Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Your topless pictures make me question reality
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
