I'm really into asian looking animals
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
