new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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