I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it's like iHOP with fire
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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