I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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